Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
