Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I wear drunk well.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
