I didn't shave. On purpose
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
