feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
