Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
