I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
