did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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