He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
