so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
