You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize