i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
