whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
