One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
