is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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