I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Randomize
