I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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