if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
