Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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