Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Michael Bay diarrhea
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
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