Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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