She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Terrible idea I love it
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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