Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
