Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
