Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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