and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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