Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
