Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
