you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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