Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I need water and some morals
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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