His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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