Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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