Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think people are normalizing furries
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
