If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
