At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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