its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
