spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
