No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
