i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
