I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
What a dumb baby whore.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
