Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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