I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
