If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
