we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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