It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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