sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
