If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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