the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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