But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
