i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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