New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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