dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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