you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
