it was like his penis was on wheels.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
