She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
