I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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