So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
