look no pants
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
